groin crotch

groin crotch

groin crotch

groin crotch

groin crotch

groin crotch

groin crotch

groin crotch

purgatory

i'm in purgatory

i was in heaven

i was in hell

now i am in purgatory

this is fun

i want to scream, 'this is fun!'

i'm riding a bicycle in purgatory

i want to do a front-flip over a wide river

i am in purgatory

hell

i'm in hell

i was in heaven

now i'm in hell

i said, 'this place is stupid

jesus christ said, 'say that again'

i said, 'this place is stupid'

jesus christ said, 'say that again'

i said, 'this place is stupid'

now i'm in hell

i'm walking around

i'm in hell

i'm walking

ass

i never saw my ass

my ass is behind me

other people see my ass

i don't see my ass

my ass is my behind

i see other people's asses all the time

red hook

i played a show in red hook once

i don't remember the venue

i played a show somewhere else in brooklyn

the venue was a library i think

red hook had large houses around it

i felt confused

here is jesus

'jesus,' i say

'ezra kire,' jesus says

'jesus christ,' i say

jesus walks away

intercontinental ballistic missile

an intercontinental ballistic missile is an ICBM

it flies in the air like an airplane

it flies for hours

then it falls on a different continent

it can go from africa to north america

or australia to south america

or asia to antarctica

it flies in the air like an airplane

it is very calm and good while flying in the air

it flies alone and no humans sit inside of it

it flies alone and it is very calm and good

blink 182

i'm thinking about when i was alive

in leftover crack we played those chords from that blink 182 song

during '500 channels'

i'm thinking about that

'500 channels' has the lyrics

'with my credit and my bank my mind will draw a blank'

'i'll block out history and stare at my tv'

'for me there is no way'

'500 channels waste my life away'

i'm bored

fucked

i felt fucked in india

i felt fucked in new york city

in brooklyn after a show fourteen year olds came up to me

and i felt fucked

i said to the audience, 'fuck the police' and i felt fucked

a fourteen year old came up to me on the street

i said, 'fuck barnes and noble'

i said, 'fuck mohawks'

there's a photo of me as a young man on the internet and i have a mohawk

i was born in india

happy

i was crying

i was in the house crying on the bed

i stopped crying

i thought, 'wait'

i thought, 'i'm happy'

i thought, 'wait'

i realized i was happy not depressed

i am happy

today i am happy

i am in the house on the bed happy

murder

i am in heaven

i hate everyone

jesus christ told me i was immature

i hate everyone

i will kill everyone

i will kick jesus christ's nose bone out the back of his skull

i will kill jesus christ

jesus christ said i was immature

i will kill him

i will kill everyone

i hate everyone

joy williams

i am reading joy williams

jesus said, 'read honored guest by joy williams'

i am reading honored guest

it is about a person named lenore who is dying

lenore will soon be dead

she is not ready

after lenore dies her daughter helen who is in eleventh grade

will go to florida to live with her father

lenore says her own name sometimes

she ays, 'lenore!'

she is not ready

i am crying

i am reading joy williams

it is a nice day in heaven and i am crying

richard yates

i am reading richard yates

jesus said, 'read dick yates'

i said, 'i will read dick yates'

jesus said, 'look him up under richard yates'

i said, 'richard yates'

i am reading richard yates

i am in heaven

i am reading 'the easter parade' by richard, or 'dick,' yates

mary robison

i am reading mary robison

jesus told me to read mary robison

i went to the library

i am in heaven

i am reading mary robison

i am reading the words on the page

here are the words

i am reading them

i am in heaven

jesus told me to go to the library

to read mary robison

so i did

and here i am

heaven

i am in heaven

i did not value worldly possessions

i owned no digital television

i slit my neck by the east river

i am in heaven

i shake hands with jesus

i shake hands with a dog

i am in heaven

thank you

i am in heaven

i am in heaven

suicide

life is futile

life is stupid

life is sad

life is meaningless

life is unfair

life is cruel

life is long

life is short

life is stupid

thirsty

give me that forty ounce

give it to me

give me that bagel

one dollar bagel

i talked to biker joe today

he needed some money

he had binoculars

he gave me his binoculars

i had twenty dollars from a show

i gave it to him

he said, 'when you see me point and say biker joe'

i said, 'i will point and say biker joe'

he said, 'i might not come immediately but i will come'

i said, 'you will circle around'

i said, 'you will come'

depressed

walking to the store

buying the plantain chips

eating the plantain chips

going to the show

playing the guitar

playing the guitar solo

making the jokes into the microphone

singing the back-up vocals

bored

playing the wrong chord on purpose

playing the right chord

playing the guitar solo

looking at the kids

village voice

one time someone emailed me questions

he said he wanted to write about me in the village voice

i said the village voice will not write about me

he said he would write about me and get it in the village voice

i said the village voice will not write about me

or the bands i am in

he emailed the questions

i read the questions off the computer screen and typed my answers

i do not read the village voice

so i do not know what happened

to my answers

i use the internet in the public library or sometimes at c-squat

c-squat has computers and the internet sometimes

fishing

i think fishing is stupid

i was walking by the east river

i was thinking

i was sad

i thought, 'who cares if fishing is stupid'

people are stupid

i think poverty can be a good thing

there are benefits to poverty

i'm talking about homelessness

not not eating until the person dies

or not having help from doctors until the person dies

or freezing until the person dies

i'm talking about other things

materialism, success, fulfillment

shows

i get most depressed when i play songs onstage

i feel most happy in my life sometimes when i play a song onstage

some of my most depressing moments have been right after a show

during a show sometimes i feel that the show is already over

i want to commit suicide sometimes after a show or during a show or before a show

i had a mohawk when i was seventeen

i grew up in india

i have a song called 'our job is to die'

i programmed my drum machine to do an impossibly fast fill at the end of that song

panhandling

it feels good to get rich people to give you money

i have a song that says, 'pushing the poor off-shore'

that was with my band 'indk'

my other band is 'morning glory'

the band i play guitar in is 'leftover crack'

'morning glory' has a kind of hip-hop song

it says, 'we're sending money overseas to help the ones we bomb'

one time at a leftover crack show i wore a new sweater

the sweater was very clean

this was a few months after nine eleven

internet

i like the internet

i live at c-squat sometimes

c-squat is a squat on avenue c

we have the internet

i am in three bands

one of these bands has a song called 'heroin or suicide'

the name of that band is 'leftover crack'

'leftover crack' is an oxymoron

before it was called 'leftover crack' it was called 'choking victim'

there is a song called 'choking victim'

it goes 'you don't have to choking / to become a victim'

it's a ska song

the beatles

i steal melodies from the beatles

my music is upbeat

it sounds happy

one song is called 'gimme heroin'

i talk about jacking up in alleyways

kids make fun of that

they say jacking 'off' in alleyways

i have a song called 'school is bullshit'

on the messageboard on the internet

kids made fun of that

the kids are sarcastic

india

i grew up in india

i am white

i felt alone in india

now i am a squatter in new york city

young people enjoy my music

i have three bands

these are punk bands

two are ska bands

i have a drum machine